Can’t Fart Here
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. While sitting in her new room, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. After a while, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives and asks, “Are they treating you all right?” She replies, “It’s pretty nice — except they won’t let you fart.”
My Farts Don’t Stink
An old lady came into her doctor’s office and confessed to an embarrassing problem: “I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they’re soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I’ve been here, I’ve farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?”
“Here’s a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week.”
The next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr. Johnson’s office: “Doc, I don’t know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I’m farting just as much, and they’re still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?”
“Calm down, Mrs. Barker,” said the doctor soothingly. “Now that we’ve fixed your sinuses, we’ll work on your hearing!”
Do Old People Fart More?
“Although there are limited data on the association between age and flatulence frequency, it is physiologically possible that older individuals pass gas more than their younger counterparts. For example, increased age has been linked to lactose intolerance, a relatively common reason why people break wind.
Elderly individuals are also at higher risk for developing small intestinal bacterial overgrowth, which can cause bloating and increased flatulence.”
We think that the sphincter just isn’t what it used to be and old people just don’t bother with the effort of holding them in!